Have you ever thought that you may have missed a lesson in life because you did not listen? On the other hand, maybe you misread a situation, a person, a player, or even a book. I decided to go public with my web site this week, perhaps it was a good decision, and perhaps it was bad. At any rate, I have been peppered with good comments, bad comments, impartial ones and just silly garbage. Overall, I am pleased. I have learned a lot.
EGO….some people are able to keep it under control, others are not so able and yet somehow we all seem to be able to function. Perhaps I am a little controversial in my writings on the site, but who wants to read boring cliché garbage? Do you think that Rick Reilly has a column in SI because he sucks or is boring? I highly doubt it.
RESPECT…some people have it, some do not, and it could conceivably be linked to the ego. I am a young official, 29 years of age and soon to hit the big three-oh next month. I look younger than I am, at least that is what I’ve been told. I have trouble coming up with credibility in my appearance due to my age….does that seem fair? Perhaps that is why I have struggled my way through this, learning that officiating is for the older, more respected men out there. Do I even need to go into the problems that women face in officiating? That is a whole other web site!
I have an idea, I think all young officials should do this if they are having trouble like myself in this realm. Go out and purchase a bottle of hair dye, make sure it is grey. Next, get really lazy. Quit your day job and sit around eating pork rinds and drinking beer (sober up for your games of course) until you develop a beer gut that is at least four to six inches beyond your pant’s waist line. Unfortunately for me, I have such a high metabolism that most of this would prove ineffective and would only serve to raise my cholesterol to a dangerous level. But if it works for you, you will earn much more respect than you could possibly dream.
Lessons, lessons, lessons. Everyday I learn something new, usually in the outside world, hardly online. My point? Youth have something to add to officiating, youth have things that are valuable to say. Do not put the future of basketball officiating in the toilet because you see youth as a threat, ego or not. Try giving back by sharing stories, sharing experiences. Go help out at a camp, go forth and be a mentor to many or just one. Do not suffocate the profession that you have seen fit for so many years to be a part of.
So what do I do? I guess I just wing it, like everyone did at my age or younger. Do my best like I do with everything I attempt. This web site for example, why is it that there are no others like it out there? What I think is really funny, no matter what I say on this site it will always be taken out of context. My sarcasm, my wit, and personality are hard to take at times. But roll with it, this is my mountain to climb, get your own.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Taking this too seriously?
Recently, assigned to a couple of junior varsity games in an out of the way logging town, I was forced to start a game with myself as the official, and no one else. Now I do not profess to be the “God” of refereeing, but I do make a concerted effort to look professional. I show up on time, I have a change of shoes from outdoor to indoor, I wear a clean uniform, I own an association jacket, I do my very best to keep a good name for the profession of officiating. Unfortunately, my partner did not uphold the same values.
Upon his arrival with two minutes to go in halftime, he looked confused and disheveled. On the first play of the second half, he slipped in his wet shoes and just about went down on the hard floor. I was standing on the opposite baseline, when he finally blew his first whistle. It came flying out of his mouth and bounced twice on the floor in front of players and fans, who began snickering. All I could do was take a deep breath and let it go, what else was I supposed to do? Supposedly this official has a year on me in experience, but I was not aware of that at the time all of this was happening.
We made it through both games, I really do not know how. At one point the crowd was arguing with me because I was the only one blowing my whistle out there. I started into the crowd with my frustration, which I would not recommend unless trained in the art of being a comedian.
“C’mon ref! Call it both ways! You can’t keep missing that!”
“Really,” I turned to the crowd and pinpointed the old man heckling me. “Don’t you have something original to say? I’d think at your age that you’d have been able to think of something that no ref has ever heard, but here you are and I am left with the same old clichés.”
I think that my own frustration was starting to become apparent. I am glad I did not pursue the argument with the old fellow, it would have gone nowhere anyway. I was angrier with my own partner than anything else. People who do not take what they do seriously unfortunately cause others to be taken as hacks too. All too often in officiating you are judged on appearance, I suppose this is true of anything though, but in a public job it can create trouble for co-workers who eventually get grouped into the pile for the sins of their partners. I wish to be no part of this! But, am I taking what I do too seriously?
The high school level is serious, but not as serious as college or professional. I suppose my goals of attaining the higher levels of basketball officiating come through on the court. I dress for success, I work hard no matter the level of game. All I ask is that people who do not, be put at levels of games where they will cause the least amount of damage or be removed entirely. I have fun on a basketball court because I come prepared for anything and I have no stress because of the prepared nature. I hope that the rest of my games this year do not end up like this past one, I may end up laughing out loud with fans and players at a partner who belongs in a recreational league.
Upon his arrival with two minutes to go in halftime, he looked confused and disheveled. On the first play of the second half, he slipped in his wet shoes and just about went down on the hard floor. I was standing on the opposite baseline, when he finally blew his first whistle. It came flying out of his mouth and bounced twice on the floor in front of players and fans, who began snickering. All I could do was take a deep breath and let it go, what else was I supposed to do? Supposedly this official has a year on me in experience, but I was not aware of that at the time all of this was happening.
We made it through both games, I really do not know how. At one point the crowd was arguing with me because I was the only one blowing my whistle out there. I started into the crowd with my frustration, which I would not recommend unless trained in the art of being a comedian.
“C’mon ref! Call it both ways! You can’t keep missing that!”
“Really,” I turned to the crowd and pinpointed the old man heckling me. “Don’t you have something original to say? I’d think at your age that you’d have been able to think of something that no ref has ever heard, but here you are and I am left with the same old clichés.”
I think that my own frustration was starting to become apparent. I am glad I did not pursue the argument with the old fellow, it would have gone nowhere anyway. I was angrier with my own partner than anything else. People who do not take what they do seriously unfortunately cause others to be taken as hacks too. All too often in officiating you are judged on appearance, I suppose this is true of anything though, but in a public job it can create trouble for co-workers who eventually get grouped into the pile for the sins of their partners. I wish to be no part of this! But, am I taking what I do too seriously?
The high school level is serious, but not as serious as college or professional. I suppose my goals of attaining the higher levels of basketball officiating come through on the court. I dress for success, I work hard no matter the level of game. All I ask is that people who do not, be put at levels of games where they will cause the least amount of damage or be removed entirely. I have fun on a basketball court because I come prepared for anything and I have no stress because of the prepared nature. I hope that the rest of my games this year do not end up like this past one, I may end up laughing out loud with fans and players at a partner who belongs in a recreational league.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I still love this game!
What an interesting week this has been for me as an official. The high school season has begun and it has been no picnic. Yesterday I had to deal with a freshman girl’s coach who ventured five feet on to the court, and when I told him, “Coach, you can’t be on the court, you know the rules,” he decided to be an arse with me for the rest of the game. On Sunday, after refereeing grade six girls basketball, a parent came up to me and proceeded to be disrespectful and demeaning. What is with people today?
Coaches are, for the most part, nice to deal with and I can communicate with them all. It is funny though when I come across a coach who tells me how to do my job, but only after I instruct him on a rule which he surely already knows. Today I talked with a fellow official who shared with me their negative experience with the same coach! I had no idea and I had been told the story before about the disrespect that this coach has for officials, and apparently authority in general. I think it is a definite sign that a coach has no clue when they approach me when they: (1.) Proclaim their infinite knowledge, (2.) Tell you how they have been coaching for such a long time, and do not know you, and (3.) Do not know how to say anything in a sentence without first conveying, “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here…but…” I would love to say here what I think of a man who is a one-sided communicator, but there really is no point. He is forced to live with himself, and if he has been a freshman coach for as long as he claimed, he is never going to get any further without changing his own ways. That is larger than anything I could ever say or do to him.
As for the sixth grader’s parent, she really is not worth my breath or acknowledgement. I will say this; there were three women at the scorer’s table that clearly witnessed what she said to me. One was the coach of a team I was to officiate next. When the woman finished spouting her emotional poison, I said aloud and to no one in particular, “What a bitch.” The coach came over to me and said, “I don’t know how or why you guys volunteer for this. I really admire what you do and people like that don’t deserve to have you officiate their games anyway, they aren’t worthy.” I thanked her for her kind words. I had already figured out what that woman’s problem was. On the court, her daughter was flopping around like a rag doll, trying to draw fouls. She was highly dramatic, and was trying to suck me into it. After she complained verbally and physically by hopping up and down in place, I warned her to stop it or it would result in a technical foul. I gave her a chance, and she didn’t blow it, she left that up to her mother.
It is funny again how players reflect what is taught to them off the court. The coach’s girls lost, due to a lack of composure, very similar to the example that they were shown. The parent’s daughter was only mirroring what she learned at home, high drama and disrespect. I cannot fault any of these players for what they do on the court, I always look to the tree who bore the fruit. No one takes root without a learning foundation, I feel sorry for the kids who have to learn through such bad examples. I know that I had horrible coaches growing up, but my parents were always the quiet ones in the stands, who understood the love I had for the game, win or lose. If I did my best, they were happy, and that was all that mattered. I just hope the game of basketball can withstand this negative barrage lately, with the NBA being what it is and bad examples all around. As long as I am around there will be someone who still stands by morals and love of a game deep in my roots. I can still laugh and remember that this is the best game on earth.
Coaches are, for the most part, nice to deal with and I can communicate with them all. It is funny though when I come across a coach who tells me how to do my job, but only after I instruct him on a rule which he surely already knows. Today I talked with a fellow official who shared with me their negative experience with the same coach! I had no idea and I had been told the story before about the disrespect that this coach has for officials, and apparently authority in general. I think it is a definite sign that a coach has no clue when they approach me when they: (1.) Proclaim their infinite knowledge, (2.) Tell you how they have been coaching for such a long time, and do not know you, and (3.) Do not know how to say anything in a sentence without first conveying, “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here…but…” I would love to say here what I think of a man who is a one-sided communicator, but there really is no point. He is forced to live with himself, and if he has been a freshman coach for as long as he claimed, he is never going to get any further without changing his own ways. That is larger than anything I could ever say or do to him.
As for the sixth grader’s parent, she really is not worth my breath or acknowledgement. I will say this; there were three women at the scorer’s table that clearly witnessed what she said to me. One was the coach of a team I was to officiate next. When the woman finished spouting her emotional poison, I said aloud and to no one in particular, “What a bitch.” The coach came over to me and said, “I don’t know how or why you guys volunteer for this. I really admire what you do and people like that don’t deserve to have you officiate their games anyway, they aren’t worthy.” I thanked her for her kind words. I had already figured out what that woman’s problem was. On the court, her daughter was flopping around like a rag doll, trying to draw fouls. She was highly dramatic, and was trying to suck me into it. After she complained verbally and physically by hopping up and down in place, I warned her to stop it or it would result in a technical foul. I gave her a chance, and she didn’t blow it, she left that up to her mother.
It is funny again how players reflect what is taught to them off the court. The coach’s girls lost, due to a lack of composure, very similar to the example that they were shown. The parent’s daughter was only mirroring what she learned at home, high drama and disrespect. I cannot fault any of these players for what they do on the court, I always look to the tree who bore the fruit. No one takes root without a learning foundation, I feel sorry for the kids who have to learn through such bad examples. I know that I had horrible coaches growing up, but my parents were always the quiet ones in the stands, who understood the love I had for the game, win or lose. If I did my best, they were happy, and that was all that mattered. I just hope the game of basketball can withstand this negative barrage lately, with the NBA being what it is and bad examples all around. As long as I am around there will be someone who still stands by morals and love of a game deep in my roots. I can still laugh and remember that this is the best game on earth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)