In the wintertime where I come from, not wearing your coat could spell certain doom for your outer extremities. It is a part of your existence in essence; you check it at doors so that you are not overheated inside a residence. You lay it down across a vacant chair at a table when in a restaurant keeping an eye not to lose your cell phone in the pocket, it is a part of you and you a part of it. This is the very same analogy for your ego, it goes where you go and is an integral part of your fabric as a human. However, there are times where it must be checked at the door, laid across an empty chair in a restaurant with your watchful eyes upon it.
An ego is a funny thing. It makes you laugh when you are in fact sad, it makes you angry when you are actually afraid. It can cloud your judgment in a time when you really need it most to be impartial and unbiased. As a referee, an ego is a bad thing to have when you are on the court.
At times I must check my own ego with a fellow official in order to call a fair game. This is the hardest situation to be in because it causes tension all around. I have talked with many individuals and come to one conclusion, NOT A SINGLE PERSON COMES TO A GAME TO WATCH THE OFFICIALS. In fact, they come to watch the players. Sound strange? If it does, you are in the wrong field.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
The Art of Shaming an Official
This is a misleading title. Perhaps it should read, “The Art of Making an Ass out of yourself for the benefit of no one in particular.” But then again, that is a little longwinded. As an official of a game, you are forced to deal with people’s emotions. I say forced because there really is not a better word to describe the manner in which some people wish to convey themselves. Usually this comes in the form of anger. It also comes in the form of joy or elation, but those examples are not the hard ones to deal with.
Recently in a local recreational club in Portland I was faced with the particular ‘art’ of one individual. My partner and I had officiated a game that flowed smoothly, with equal calls. The more aggressive team was leading the foul category, and as always, was leading the game. Upon the completion of the contest, one individual saw it fit to berate my lack of calls in the key area where the bigger men were banging it up. Being the smart-ass I am, I pointed out that it is not my responsibility to create gentlemen out of behemoths. My calls are merely to keep a game injury free, and to create an atmosphere in which both teams compete fairly. He did not see my calls as the fairest in the land.
Shaming an official is a job done by an individual who: (1.) Has low self-esteem in the first place (2.) Has a control complex or anger management issue, and (3.) Probably has had a domestic abuse complaint on file somewhere. That being said, these individuals are not to be taken lightly, nor are they to be baited for your own amusement. I have learned the hard way.
Instead, taking the stance to hold your ground on your decisions and to walk away from the confrontation the moment it becomes personal is the best bet. Once a game is over, a player that forces an issue is not worth talking to for there will be nothing that can come out of it. Most times, if an argument ensues, it is because your own stubbornness as the purveyor of the contest has taken over. You always do your best on the court, ALWAYS. If it is not your night, then so be it, let it go and move on. Never say this to a player…”It’s only a game.” However, remember this small phrase to yourself because you must understand that you are not there because it seems like a job to you. If you are having fun out there, it shows through, and for every five people who have something good to say about your own performance, there will always be one who does not. Five to one. It is a phrase that I repeat almost daily to myself, and no, it is not a reference to “The Doors” song. Though I do like the line in the song, “Five to one baby, one in five. No one here gets out alive.” True words of life, for it is the biggest game of all, a basketball game is small potatoes in comparison.
So next time some player tries his or her dandiest to get under your skin, remember “FIVE TO ONE.” No individual has power over you one way or the other. Tell them to take their perverse ‘artwork’ and shove it, just remember to do it silently and smile to yourself. There is no shame as an official, only shame in watching others make asses of themselves while trying to get a reaction out of you. Feel sorry for them, and be glad they are not you.
David
Recently in a local recreational club in Portland I was faced with the particular ‘art’ of one individual. My partner and I had officiated a game that flowed smoothly, with equal calls. The more aggressive team was leading the foul category, and as always, was leading the game. Upon the completion of the contest, one individual saw it fit to berate my lack of calls in the key area where the bigger men were banging it up. Being the smart-ass I am, I pointed out that it is not my responsibility to create gentlemen out of behemoths. My calls are merely to keep a game injury free, and to create an atmosphere in which both teams compete fairly. He did not see my calls as the fairest in the land.
Shaming an official is a job done by an individual who: (1.) Has low self-esteem in the first place (2.) Has a control complex or anger management issue, and (3.) Probably has had a domestic abuse complaint on file somewhere. That being said, these individuals are not to be taken lightly, nor are they to be baited for your own amusement. I have learned the hard way.
Instead, taking the stance to hold your ground on your decisions and to walk away from the confrontation the moment it becomes personal is the best bet. Once a game is over, a player that forces an issue is not worth talking to for there will be nothing that can come out of it. Most times, if an argument ensues, it is because your own stubbornness as the purveyor of the contest has taken over. You always do your best on the court, ALWAYS. If it is not your night, then so be it, let it go and move on. Never say this to a player…”It’s only a game.” However, remember this small phrase to yourself because you must understand that you are not there because it seems like a job to you. If you are having fun out there, it shows through, and for every five people who have something good to say about your own performance, there will always be one who does not. Five to one. It is a phrase that I repeat almost daily to myself, and no, it is not a reference to “The Doors” song. Though I do like the line in the song, “Five to one baby, one in five. No one here gets out alive.” True words of life, for it is the biggest game of all, a basketball game is small potatoes in comparison.
So next time some player tries his or her dandiest to get under your skin, remember “FIVE TO ONE.” No individual has power over you one way or the other. Tell them to take their perverse ‘artwork’ and shove it, just remember to do it silently and smile to yourself. There is no shame as an official, only shame in watching others make asses of themselves while trying to get a reaction out of you. Feel sorry for them, and be glad they are not you.
David
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