Communication

I like to think that the Lord works in mysterious ways; He helps those who help themselves. This is to say that being clear with communication and dealing with people is a way of putting out fires before they get larger. You must do it yourself and the rest is provided as the result of your actions. Today at a 3-on-3 tournament, this was evident in the way I handled a situation.

At the Rose Garden here in Portland, I was given the last minute privilege of coordinating the officials for a tournament. It was the first time for me and came naturally, I enjoyed it and hated it at the same time. I was thrown into the fire at the last minute and had to make it happen with little room for error. It worked out fine. I am very tired right now and am in dire need of sleep. You see, I only got three hours the night before the event and did not eat a thing until the event was over with. It was the truest test of my wit and patience with people and occurrences that I had encountered in a long time. I am proud to say that I passed.

One fire I put out was with a parent who was coaching his boys. Some spectator and the coach noted a discrepancy in the scorekeeper’s book and they began to make a scene. A giant fellow decided he would “help” me out by stepping in and trying to talk to this coach and calm him down, he just made things worse. I stopped the game and came over to the table. I asked “tiny” (who happened to be a six foot two, three hundred pound black man) to let me handle my court.

I rose my voice calmly, “Coach, I don’t really care what you think you have, or what your boys think you have. As far as I am concerned, what is in the book is final.”

The case was closed in my mind; I walked away. The game continued and the boys began to get a little rough, I wanted them to play and I knew where it was going. Again though, the coach felt it necessary to point out my game management skills.

I almost immediately called an offensive foul on a boy who threw an elbow into the defender. The coach said, “Finally!”

I immediately shot back, “Does that make ya happy coach?! Are you satisfied enough to calm down?”

He told me to watch the game, which was actually being played by the kids without me even looking at them.

I said, “Coach, your actions off the court and what you say only is reflected by your kids on the court. Zip it and let them play.”

I had a feeling of calm within me, I had stated what needed to be said and the fire within that coach was extinguished. I had several kids come up to me and say how much they loved the way I refereed. It touched me, and I stopped to talk with them to help them understand that we are all human and we all get angry over things that really are not very important at the end of the day.
Later on, I was officiating the final of that same age group with those same boys. The coach, the parents, the kids all were quiet with me…they did not say a thing to me. I can only guess that my actions in the initial game set the tone for what kind of garbage I would put up with from someone. At the end of that final, that very same coach came over to me and shook my hand and thanked me for my hard work. Sometimes people like to test your limits as a referee and as a person, they push and prod and try to elicit a response of fire within you. If you know who you are, you will always put out the fires with communication and hard work. I guess the same is true in life and love.

David